I Like You, by Sandol Stoddard Warburg

I like you and I know why.
I like you because you are a good person to like.
I like you because when I tell you something special, you know it's special
And you remember it a long, long time.
You say, "Remember when you told me something special?"
And both of us remember

When I think something is important
you think it's important too
We have good ideas
When I say something funny, you laugh
I think I'm funny and you think I'm funny too
Hah-hah!

I like you because you know where I'm ticklish
And you don't tickle me there except just a little tiny bit sometimes
But if you do, then I know where to tickle you too

You know how to be silly
That's why I like you
Boy are you ever silly
I never met anybody sillier than me till I met you
I like you because you know when it's time to stop being silly
Maybe day after tomorrow
Maybe never
Too late, it's a quarter past silly!

Sometimes we don't say a word
We snurkle under fences
We spy secret places
If I am a goofus on the roofus hollering my head off
You are one too
If I pretend I am drowning, you pretend you are saving me
If I am getting ready to pop a paper bag,
then you are getting ready to jump
HOORAY!

That's because you really like me
You really like me, don't you?
And I really like you back
And you like me back and I like you back
And that's the way we keep on going every day

If you go away, then I go away too
or if I stay home, you send me a postcard
You don't just say "Well see you around sometime, bye"
I like you a lot because of that
If I go away, I send you a postcard too
And I like you because if we go away together
And if we are in Grand Central Station
And if I get lost
Then you are the one that is yelling for me

And I like you because when I am feeling sad
You don't always cheer me up right away
Sometimes it is better to be sad
You can't stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
You want to think about things
It takes time
I like you because if I am mad at you
Then you are mad at me too
It's awful when the other person isn't
They are so nice and hoo-hoo you could just about punch them in the nose

I like you because if I think I am going to throw up
then you are really sorry
You don't just pretend you are busy looking at the birdies and all that
You say, maybe it was something you ate
You say, the same thing happened to me one time
And the same thing did

If you find two four-leaf clovers, you give me one
If I find four, I give you two
If we only find three, we keep on looking
Sometimes we have good luck, and sometimes we don't
If I break my arm, and if you break your arm too
Then it's fun to have a broken arm
I tell you about mine, you tell me about yours
We are both sorry
We write our names and draw pictures
We show everybody and they wish they had a broken arm too

I like you because I don't know why but
Everything that happens is nicer with you
I can't remember when I didn't like you
It must have been lonesome then
I like you because because because
I forget why I like you but I do

So many reasons
On the 4th of July I like you because it's the 4th of July
On the fifth of July, I like you too
If you and I had some drums and some horns and some horses
If we had some hats and some flags and some fire engines
We could be a HOLIDAY
We could be a CELEBRATION
We could be a WHOLE PARADE

See what I mean?
Even if it was the 999th of July
Even if it was August
Even if it was way down at the bottom of November
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again

That's how it would happen every time
I don't know why
I guess I don't know why I really like you
Why do I like you
I guess I just like you
I guess I just like you because I like you.

It’s okay to hurt.

It is totally okay to hurt. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to take off your super woman cape behind closed doors and let the mary kay mascara run down your cheeks. It’s okay. Life is tough and simply grinning and bearing it only lasts so long. It’s totally acceptable to have the outside world look at you as a pillar of strength when you feel like a pile of stones. It’s okay to ask questions. And, you can in fact be happy and sad all at the same time. You can be so excited about what is to come and absolutely terrified that it might not happen. You can hold on to something horrible so tightly that you don’t open your hands to something better. You can hurt yourself by being fearful that others will do the same. You can help others who are going through their own personal trials. You can try to explain your feelings, but no one will ever understand completely. And thats okay too.

Couldn't help but post this...

After awhile you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with you head up and your eyes open.
With the grace of maturity, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on
Today because tommorow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And that you really do have worth.
And you learn and learn and learn ....
With every goodbye you learn.

-Veronica A. Shoftstall

time out

Your day is flying by as you fumble through your mental “to do list”. Everyone has that time during a busy day where you face the grim reality that you are in fact not a super hero and you only have 24 hours in each day. That was me tonight…

I was in my car playing speed racer to beat the clock, trying to check one more thing off my daunting to do list. An oncoming fire engine with lights and sirens immediately caused traffic to halt. I pulled off to the side of the road, turned down my blaring radio and patiently watched it approach. As I sat there on a busy street, with hundreds of cars around me, at a dead stop, it made me think.

We all as citizen’s stop, pull off to the side of the road, and wait for an emergency vehicle to pass right? When else do you stop? When do you take a moment to pull off the little road of life? What if that fire engine was your life? Imagine it as the daily stresses, hurts, and frustrations, to do lists, chores, homework, bills, and nagging, toxic, annoyances? Would you stay on the road and let it run you over? No way! Anyone with any brains would gladly pause their busy rushing to clear the roadway until it passed.

It made me think.

It’s okay to slow down sometimes.

Life isn't multiple choice...

Things that I have learned the last nine months…

People change, for better or for worse. Even the person who you know inside and out can take off a mask and reveal they are not an ounce of who you thought they were.

The most rewarding jobs typically don’t pay well, in fact, most of the time you have to pay for them. The pay for the job I am talking about cost me monetarily, emotionally, and physically…but the end reward is far greater than any cost encored in the beginning.

Walls are not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Friends and family are my life blood. You never know how much you are loved until you need to hear it.

The future is an adventure. Sometime adventures are fun, sometimes scary, but it’s an adventure none the less. Hills and Valleys, sunshine and rain.

I can laugh and mean it.

Even the biggest cloud has a silver lining.

Good things fall apart so better things can come together.

Tomorrow is uncertain therefore I must love the people I love, thank the people that need thanked and dance, laugh, smile and sing.

Life is too short to spend it holding on to things that aren’t worth holding onto. Including grudges, memories, upsets, material processions and hurts.

I am fearless.

diggin' it.

Often I have said the following, “life is hard, wear a helmet.” Today I disagree with that statement completely. Life is only hard when you are trying. A true life, one that is tailored to fit just you is effortless. Sure, there are trials, trivial matters, decisions, and setbacks…but it’s different. These tough times aren’t so tough when youre life is authentic.

Things happen for a reason, I get that. I didn’t get that a year ago, but now, not only do I get it…I am living proof of it. I preach this cliché statement like it’s my job! I was lucky enough to die and come back to life. Not in the literal sense but close enough.

My life before was hard. It sucked. I was broke yet had much more money than I do now. Lonely, yet I was married. Homeless, yet I had a cozy little house. I was wanting, even though I had an abundance of things. I was terribly sad, yet I had all the apparent ingredients for happiness.

Today I take inventory of my life. I don’t have lots of money as I fight my way through school but it’s ok, I know it’s temporary. I certainly am not lonely. I am envious of my own social calendar. ;-)My friends are amazing supportive beings of whom I am thankful for in so many ways. I am single (can I get an Amen!). My husband turned out to be a grade-A douche bag. However, this douche bag taught me what not to do the next time around and for that...I am forever greatful. My house? I don't have one anymore. It was just that…a “house”. It wasn’t a home, and I am thankful to have been able to walk away from it. I no longer want for anything and I am far from sad. This is one of the most trying times I have ever been through, yet, through it all I am so excited.

I walked through the fire to figure out what truly matters. And, it turns out, contrary to popular belief; life isn’t that hard after all. I don’t have to try anymore. And now, life is so good.

Boy meets girl,
Girl wants to run like the wind,
So does boy.

She has had her share of heartaches,
But she stays.
She discovers Boy's had his share,
Of heartaches too.

So they both stay,
And learn to trust.

And that is a good thing.

(C) 2008 Walt Hardester

This world keeps spinning faster...

Strange problem I have…thoughts that cannot be put into words. My feelings are an odd mix of emotions that are completely foreign. I look around my world and see it so clearly, yet cannot put my visual inventory into phrases. It was not that long ago where I saw haze and had a million and one words to describe my findings.

Now, the haze has faded. The sunshine is out and the weatherman has given me an unusually positive forecast that involves exciting opportunities and a fresh start. The fear has subsided and been replaced with wide eyed wonder and self discovery.

With all this, still, I am speechless in wonder. My questions and self doubt are overridden. The pain that once was unbearable turned into strength. The love that I gave has been given back to me ten fold so that I can give it to others who deserve it, including myself. The excitement for what’s to come is nothing comparable to anything I can describe. My laughs are like wild fire, smiles the same. Stress still shows its face yet quickly exits.

How exactly do you describe something that of this magnitude? It’s more than a second chance. It’s much more than words. It’s more than feelings. More than self esteem. More than a gift. More than a smile. More than the most beautiful thing you can think of.

It’s happiness. And its mine all mine.

The best gifts

It’s kind of funny. This blog started as funny stories, rambling of sorts about the silly things that happen, just happen to always happen, to me. Although the past few posts haven’t been what I would consider “funny” they have been noteworthy in heart. I promise the funny will come back, sooner than later, but at this time in my life my expressive creativity is flowing in a different theme. I would at first consider this a forward or a forewarning…”what you’re about to read will not be witty”. Actually, this is an invitation…to see behind the funny stories, behind the giggles, behind the smile.

Life is crazy in that it is a teacher when you don’t really feel like learning shit. You know how you feel during a long hard work out? How you think, my goodness, can I really do this? I want to stop! Water please! How many more minutes? How far have I run? Then, when it’s all over you say, “wow, that wasn’t really that bad now was it?” Then, the next time you give it a go, you go a bit faster, a bit further and a bit longer than before.

This is similar to how I have felt over the past five months. I look back and can smile upon the begging and pleading I did with God. I can laugh about how I tried to hold onto something that wasn’t there to begin with. Have you ever tried to hold onto nothing? Try to hold onto thin air and tell me how that works out. So I questioned myself at every turn I could in the beginning. I asked the “why’s”, the “why me’s” and the “why not’s”. I sulked, I stayed in bed, I shut down completely. I was catatonic. Lifeless. Terrified. Alone. Pissed as hell. Hopeless. Confused. Utterly disgusted. Then, it all made sense. Sounds simple huh? In retrospect, it was just that easy.

God spoke to me. He told me all the things that he had been telling me for the past ten years only this time I listened. He spoke directly to me and so there was no confusion, he tattooed those words on my heart and soul. He told me that I am beautiful. That he loves me. That it is my time. That I settled. That I am funny and smart and that I will never be alone. That I am his child. That he has a better plan for me, one that will blow my mind. He told me things that I will never forget.

He sent me words of encouragement. He sent me strength. He sent me energy not only to get out of bed but to do something productive with each day! He sent me reasons to be happy. He sent me knowledge. He sent me insight. He sent me people. People! People! People! Friends and family came from every corner to help me, heal me, love me, kiss me and hug me. He sent me people to make me smile. He sent people that see right through my tough persona. He sent people who make me feel like new even when I think I am damaged. He sent people to hold my hand. He sent people to dry my tears. People to make me cry tears of joy. People that I can inspire. People that I can help. People that can learn from me. He sent people that I can learn from. He sent people who make me laugh. He sent me people that I missed. People that I forgot I missed. People… He sent people, his people.

I am forever grateful for unanswered prayers. Blessings come in really strange packages.

The end.