I was in a crowded book store a few days ago waiting in line to pay for my merchandise. While patiently waiting I noticed someone invading my personal bubble of air space. I turned around to see a woman who was obviously in a hurry to get past me and obviously couldn't come up with the words “excuse me”. This woman (and I use that term loosely) had long two-tone frizzy hair, a flannel shirt and smelled of patchouli oil and camel lights. I would guess her to be in her early 60’s…and by the looks of her she loved the 1960’s! I think she was going on a trip, but she didn’t have any bags if your picking up what I am laying down.
Me: “Oh goodness, do you need to get past me?”
Hippy Lady: “I was just looking on your back to see if you had a “slow moving vehicle” sign on it.”
Me: Speechless. (Which Never happens!)
Needless to say, I didn’t have my usual sarcastic smart mouthed response.
If I would have been on my A game, the following is what might have been said.
Yes, you better hurry! Someone just stole your VW bus.
Hurry! A new AARP just hit the shelves!
Quick! Jerry Garcia is outside signing autographs.
Wow, you move quickly without a walker!
Yes! Please hurry past, you smell like roach weed that’s older than me!
Lady, there is no need to hurry. Woodstock was over years ago.
Do you know you’re in a Book store right? Like ones you Read?
Sorry, but I don’t think the sell Zig-Zag papers here.
Did someone hide your kindess under your soap again?
If I ever see her again…I am pretty sure she won’t remember a thing.
